The Perks of Persistence
by knowitall88
Summary: After discovering Dumbledore made James Potter Head Boy, Lily decides to better the year by pleading with James to halt his persistence. An idea to which he reluctantly agrees. But can he pull it off? Probably not...


"Yes! Yes, yes, yes, _yes_!" cried Lily Evans, jubilantly waving a piece of parchment in one hand and a shiny badge in the other.

"Really, Lily, what's all this hullabaloo?" asked snotty long-necked creature, poking her head into Lily's room.

"Oh, Petunia, I'm Head Girl!"

Petunia sniffed at her sister, now doing a mad sort of victory jig. "Another reason for Mummy and Daddy to be proud of their little freak?"

Under ordinary circumstances, Lily would have retaliated. Instead, she threw her arms around Petunia and kissed her on the forehead.

"_What_ is going on here? I haven't seen you two this affection-"

"Mum, I'm Head Girl!" Lily thrust the badge at her mother.

"Lily, that's wonderful. Wait until your father hears! I'll go call!"

_Well, this day just got worse_, Petunia thought miserably. Her parents were going to be more horrible to bear than usual, and she would once again be forced into the shadows, and Lily was going to get something new, and if she asked for those shoes, then her father would say-

"BUGGER! Bullocks to him! Urgh!" came frustrated streams of cursing that gave new promise to the day. Her mother was sure to have heard that.

"LILY EILEEN EVANS! What-" Mrs. Evans came rushing up the hall.

"POTTER! He's Head Boy, Mum. That idiot that always pulling pranks and bullying people, and - DAMN!"

Now she was really in trouble. Cursing right in front of her own mother. _Mum is so telling Daddy, and maybe I can still get those shoes-_

But after a sharp "_Lily_!" as a reprimand, Mrs. Evans moved forward to console her very angry, eldest daughter, leaving the younger blonde one in disbelief.

"Mum, she just-" Petunia protested.

"Petunia, be a dear and go make some tea. Now Lily, you are not going to resign and you are most certainly not going turn him into a platypus! Tea, Petunia?"

"Yes, Mum." Petunia replied glumly, realizing as she should have before, that Lily was once again going to get away with something for which she rightfully deserved punishment.

* * *

Her last first day of Hogwarts. It really didn't seem possible. She turned around to her parents and Petunia, whom had wanted to wait in the car. "Goodbye, Mum, Dad," she said embracing her mother and father. She was about to turn to Petunia for what would undoubtedly be an awkward moment, when she heard a voice that was the one downfall to Hogwarts, besides Transfiguration.

"Hello, Lily!"

And who is this, Poppet?" Mr. Evans said in a wary voice, earning himself an elbow in the ribs from his wife.

Lily wished her parents weren't around so she could be rude, or ignore the idiot. Faced with no other choice, she said with a strained smile, "This is James Potter."

"And he's a - er - _friend_, is he?" her father asked, still so obvious in his suspicions, as would any father would be with a strange boy that didn't own a comb.

"Somewhat," Lily answered tersely, knowing what her father was insinuating.

"What kind -"

"Robert!" Mrs. Evans said warningly.

And then like the perfect gentleman she knew he wasn't, James nodded at her parents and said, "Nice to have met you. Sorry, but Lily and I must get to the Head compartment."

Lily stared at him completely horrified and hoping James was telling a large, spectacular falsehood. But her father on the other hand brightened considerably.

"Oh! You're Head Boy?"

"Yes, sir."

"Well, congratulations," Mr. Evans said warmly to James. "Be sure to take good care of our Lily this term."

James's grin widened. "Of course, Mr. Evans."

Lily was fuming. Angry not only at James, but her father as well, she said, "I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself."

Then she hugged her mother again, and even Petunia, who stiffened, gave her father a glare, and huffed off.

She heard her father ask, "What did I do?" James bid them farewell, and hurried after her, his longer legs allowing him to catch up with her despite her brisk pace.

After a few moments, James broke the silence. "So… Your parents seem nice."

Lily suddenly rounded on him. "What are you playing at? Introducing yourself to my parents! You, smarmy git! Now they think we're going out or something!"

"And what's wrong with that?" James said slowly.

"If you didn't notice, WE'RE NOT!"

"Actually, I did notice and I intend to remedy that. So - er - how 'bout it?"

"FOR THE LAST BLOODY TIME, POTTER, NO!"

"Oh, it's not the last time. Unless, next time, you're going to say yes?"

Lily let out an exasperated sigh. "Am I ever going to get just one year of peace?"

"Well," he said quietly, "That depends." As she glared at him, he said quickly, "All I want, Lily, all I've ever wanted is a chance. I've changed, really, I have."

Lily stood there glaring at him, severely annoyed at James for acting like a human being and actually making _her_ feel as though she were doing something wrong.

A disgusted "Urgh", later, she was walking away, headed for the train.

Lily sat in the Head's Compartment, waiting. James had gotten in a few minutes before, shooing his rambunctious friends out and sat beside her.

"So…How was your summer?" James asked.

"Lovely." Lily said shortly.

"Did you do anything interesting?"

Lily thought about her family's visit to Italy and her sister's engagement to an abominable, severely obese man, and Petunia not allowing her to help with the wedding plans, even at her parents' insistence. "No."

"Are you going to take part in a proper conversation with me?"

"Not until absolutely necessary."

James sighed and opened his mouth to say something, but several prefects filtered in, halting him.

When all twenty-four prefects arrived, Lily stood, picking up a piece of parchment. Slightly nervous, Lily began introducing the new prefects to their duties, reminding the senior prefects of theirs. When she announced that they would be having meetings once a month, James cleared his throat. She turned her head to look at him, eyebrows raised.

"Dum - Professor Dumbledore said something to me about all of us providing a distraction for the student body. He hinted at a ball. So, I suppose we'll need to meet more than monthly." James looked to Lily.

Lily stared at him, wondering why he hadn't mentioned this to her while he was attempting to invoke a conversation with her. He had caused her to look like an unprepared fool. Another reason to loathe the bugger.

"Okay," Lily said briskly, with a cold glare directed at James, "How's every two weeks?"

* * *

"Guess who's the Head Boy?" Lily asked bitterly when she reached the compartment containing her friends and threw herself in the seat.

"I would have guessed Remus, but since you used that tone -" Mary Macdonald started.

"- I bet it's that twit of Slytherin - Nott or - or Yaxley -" Elwyn Smith put in.

"Yaxley's too ugly to become Head Boy!" Marlene McKinnon

"And Nott's any better? C'mon…" Mary snorted.

"If looks had anything to with getting the Headship, James certainly wouldn't have gotten it."

Lily looked up to see all of her friends staring at her, flabbergasted. Then, Marlene burst out giggling hysterically. After catching Lily's glare at her lack of empathy, she ineffectively stuffed her fist into her mouth.

"What," Mary said with a good, decent amount of fury that Lily noted affectionately, "drug is Dumbledore on?"

"James as Head Boy? Are you absolutely sure? Has Dumbledore seen Potter's detention record?" demanded Elwyn.

"Well, he is talented, smart, and that smirk - if the Headship depended on looks, Potter might have my vote," Marlene said dreamily, having recovered from her giggles. After the others' incredulous expressions, Marlene amended quickly, "If I didn't know him to be such an arse. And if Sirius Black were in the running."

Lily rolled her eyes. "I've had enough of hearing of Black's perfections from the Hogwarts' female population. And you, Marlene. I'm not sure if I'll be able to deal with Potter this year. There'll be all those meetings, all the working together. "Another horrible idea occurred to her. " Bugger we'll be living in the Head's Dorm together! Sweet Merlin, I might kill myself."

"I might have a solution," Mary put forward tentatively. "Mind you, we might not be able to stand you. But you'll get rid of Potter for good, I'm sure. But it is a bit…demeaning. And -"

"What is it, Mary?" Elwyn asked impatiently.

"Say yes."

"Yes?" Lily offered, completely bewildered.

Mary made a face, and hesitantly said. "No, whenever he asks you out again. And act like one of the girls that fawn over him."

"_That_ is an intriguing idea." commented Elwyn.

"Yeah," said Lily, barely controlling her indignation, "Except for the fact that it GOES AGAINST EVERYTHING I BELIEVE IN!"

Mary looked a bit afraid and muttered, "Just brainstorming."

"Lily, I really think you should consider it. It might be painful, but if it dissuades Potter from his Chasing -"

Lily grimaced. "Oh, stop with the Chasing - Chaser joke!"

"Didn't Sirius start that?" inquired Marlene thoughtfully, before saying "You really should give James a chance. And after that, hook me up with Sirius."

This only furthered Lily's belief that she shouldn't carry out with Mary's idea. "That plan screams disaster. I think I'll just have a little talk with Potter, telling him he'll bugger off if he knows what's good for him."

Her friends all gave her looks of skepticism.

"Just make sure you didn't lose your temper. It tends to happen with him." Mary warned.

The other two nodded, and Elwyn said, "It also makes you more attractive to him."

"_What?_"

* * *

"First years through here!" Lily directed the wide-eyed children to the awaiting boats.

"Were we ever really that short? I swear they get smaller every year…" came a voice from behind her.

"Potter, I'm working. And you have got a lot of nerve, talking to me. Yes, through there," she guided the passing first years.

"Sorry, I'm just attempting some bonding."

Lily snorted in such a way that only James would think attractive. "Bonding…Is that what you'd call it?"

"Well, either that or shag - I mean - fishing." James fervently hoped that she didn't hear his slip-up.

"What appalling thing did you almost say?" Lily asked through gritted teeth.

"Are you actually twitching?" James asked avoiding her question.

Lily gave him a fiercely annoyed look and hurried off to smooth over the misgivings of the remaining first years. James ran his fingers through his hair, and went to her aid.

After all the first years were taken care of, James joined Lily in the last carriage. Lily made sure that she was as far away from him as possible.

"Why are you so childish?" he asked abruptly.

Lily, without even looking at him, said defensively, "I'm not."

"Then why have you practically made yourself one with that carriage wall?"

Lily sighed and scooted reluctantly closer to James.

Unable to stand the silence, James said, "You didn't seem this mad at me earlier."

Lily made a derisive noise. "Really, now? Let's think back, shall we? To when you made me look like an idiot."

There was silence for a moment. "When did I do that?"

"When you didn't tell me about Dumbledore's plans! You walked in about ten minutes before the meeting actually started and you didn't feel the need to inform me of what Dumbledore told you!"

"Er - no. Actually, it slipped my mind. But you didn't seem too keen on conversing with me, so I don't know how I could've told you in the first place."

Lily could feel herself getting worked up and tried to contain her irritation. She also remembered what Marlene had said about James thinking she was more attractive when incensed.

"Potter?"

"Hmmm?"

"I need to say something." she proposed, teeth gritted.

"Fire away."

"And I need you to look at me."

Bright hazel eyes met hers. Maybe it would've been easier if he wasn't looking at her. She was quite suddenly overcome with an overwhelming sense of awkwardness. Eventually she found her tongue, her business-like tongue. "This is our last year at Hogwarts. And I want it to be the best. In order for that to happen, we have to cooperate and show some semblance of getting along. Therefore, do stop asking me out." She ended on a slightly threatening note. More surprisingly, there was also hint of pleading in her voice.

James seemed flabbergasted.

After a while, she said "Potter?"

"Alright. I'll _try_. But on one condition."

"What's that?" She was suspicious. And rightfully so.

"If we're going to be mature and civil, there'll be no more of this Potter-Evans tripe, agreed?" he said, holding out his hand.

Though Lily's obstinacy was frantically screaming "DON'T DO IT!" her reason said that it was really a small price to pay for no more stupid pick-up lines and every other annoying quirk that accompanied being the object of the persistent James Potter's affections. Her reason won over. "Deal and she grasped his hand.

* * *

"So how'd it go?" Marlene asked after the Sorting.

Lily tore herself from her mashed potatoes. "How'd what go?"

"You walked in with James Potter. And you weren't raging. So you obviously took advantage of the brilliant plan." Marlene paused for a self-satisfied grin.

"Or I used mine."

Marlene snorted. "As if that would work."

"Actually it did," Lily confirmed smugly.

"Did it now?"

For some reason, her friends harbored amused and skeptical looks.

"What?" Lily asked just as James Potter and Sirius Black plopped down on both sides of her. Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew followed suit.

"Hallo, Evans!" Sirius exclaimed gleefully.

"No, Sirius, call her _Lily_. Remember? Such a silly goose, isn't he?" James said elbowing her lightly.

"Indeed," said Lily stiffly.

"Hey, James," Sirius said with an odd look at Lily, "Are you sure - "

"Evans - _Lily_ - How do you feel about - " James cast a frantic gaze around " - peas?"

"I'm allergic." Lily said, wrinkling her nose.

"Well - that's -er -interesting."

"Lily," Mary said in a carrying undertone, "You just gave him something to use against you! Now he'll -"

Marlene, not even taking care to lower her voice, pointed out, "He's liked her since fourth year, at _least_. He's not going to force feed her _peas_!"

Remus cleared his throat, bringing the attention to him, James, Sirius and Pettigrew, all of who were looking at them oddly. Elwyn, who happened to be a Ravenclaw, plopped herself down next to across from Lily. She looked at their additional company, shook her head, and began spooning Yorkshire pudding onto her plate.

"Oh, come on," Elwyn said, "We all know that you guys have had much weirder conversations."

Marlene agreed. "Yeah. Remember the conversation in Defense Against the Dark Arts about whether or not dementors procreate like humans?"

"And how Sirius insisted that he could tell the difference between male and female dementors because supposedly even female dementors are attracted to him?" James put forth.

Lily choked on her pumpkin juice, as Sirius cried, "Well, it's true!"

"Only you, Black." Elwyn managed with a mixture of exasperation and amusement.

"Most girls say that with more…ardor. Tell me again why we haven't gone out?" Sirius asked in genuine perplexity.

"You're a berk and I don't like you."

Sirius waved a dismissive hand at her. "No, no. That can't be it."

"Of course not, Sirius," Remus said. "So, how were all of your summers?"

"We went to Spain. Looked at some old buildings. My parents were ecstatic, and I was bored." Marlene replied.

"I'd love to go Spain!" Elwyn said a bit envious and indignant. "King Henry the Eighth's first wife, Catherine of Ara-"

"Yeah," Marlene yawned. "I don't care."

"I didn't really do anything, but it was still too short." Mary intervened in order to pacify the glares and cheeky grins between Elwyn and Marlene.

"Mine was too long," Lily said. "My sister is engaged to an engorged tomato."

Everyone in the vicinity laughed, from Remus' quiet chuckle, to Marlene's shrilly giggle, to James's exaggerated guffaw. Lily shot him a glare.

James stared at her for a moment, with an odd look in his eyes. Lily shifted uncomfortably under his ardor-laden gaze. She turned pointedly to Remus.

"So, Remus, what N.E.W.T.s are you taking?"

"Let's not talk about classes until tomorrow, _shall _we?" James requested.

"I concur."

"I second that."

Lily massaged her temples.

"Have you heard about those new security rulings on werewolves set in place?" Sirius asked a little too casually.

All of the remaining Marauders froze. The tension was almost tangible. Lily stared at the Marauders attempting to discern what was transpiring. Everett Roberts, a somewhat pompous sixth year, happened to overhear.

"I think they may be necessary. Werewolves pose a danger to our society. Those restrictions are purely for the welfare of normal people."

"Who _asked_ -" James began hotly.

But Lily interjected. "Roberts, werewolves _are_ people. For the majority of their lives, they are people and not wolves. They don't choose to become a monster once a month! Please remove yourself from the Dark Ages or bugger off!"

As Roberts huffed and went back to his drumstick, Marlene said, "Man I hate that guy. He practically stalked me last year just because I asked to borrow a quill."

Lily looked up once more to find James watching her intently. "What is your problem?" she asked finally addressing him when he neglected to take a hint.

"Go out with me," he said in the most serious, sincere voice she had ever heard from him. Lily's friends looked up frozen.

Lily looked at him in utter disbelief. "_What about our agreement_?"

"Hey, I said I'd _try_ not to ask you. If you weren't so…" his words died on his lips.

"So what?" Lily asked sharply.

James hesitated before imploring, "Go out with me. You won't regret it. Really you won't."

Pursing her lips and standing, Lily informed her friends, "I'll see you later."

"Yeah, me too," James said emulating her.

"No," Lily said adamantly, "You are the reason I'm leaving my French fries and Shepherd's Pie and tiramisu! You stay! On second thought, Elwyn, will you go with me to sit at the Ravenclaw table?"

"What about the meeting with Dumbledore after dinner?" James asked as she stalked off.

"I'll _most definitely _be there," Lily said not even bothering to turn around.

* * *

"Headmaster, I don't believe I can deal with Potter as Head Boy," Lily pointed out, ignoring Potter, who was on her left.

Dumbledore looked mildly surprised. "Surely this is not a resignation, Miss Evans."

"No," Lily protested immediately, "You mis-"

"Miss Evans, I know you and Potter have a bit of a history," Dumbledore said eyes twinkling in what Lily thought was almost amused, "but I assure you: there was no one else more suitable for the position. Mr. Potter will be your dedicated counterpart."

Lily lowered her eyes, defeated. Though she had utmost faith in Dumbledore on most occasions, this was not one of them. Now her hopes were dashed and her Hogwarts-long dream of having a great last year seemed to diminish. She looked back up at Dumbledore and gave a tight smile.

"Now as to the Heads' Quarters…"

* * *

"So…Are you done trying to be rid of me?"

"Potter, I would really prefer not talking to you if it doesn't bother you terribly."

"Yeah, somehow I'm not surprised."

"Good."

"Wow. Bitterness. You should definitely eat more sweets. It would improve your temper. Make you more like - like - your friend - what's-her-name -"

"Been going to school with her for seven years and you don't know her name. _Mary _McDonald is in your House, Potter! And sometimes when I insult you, she makes a viable excuse in your favor. Do you really wonder - oh, we're here," Lily said in relief.

They had arrived at the statue of a noble-looking dragon concealing the entrance to the Head's Quarters, located on the seventh floor. Upon seeing them, the dragon inquired in an oddly pompous manner, "New Head Girl and Boy?"

When they both nodded, he continued, as though he had been told about their 'history'. "First, you must agree on the password."

"How about Quidditch?"

As Lily went to protest, the dragon said, "Meaning no disrespect, sir, but that password might be a little too general. T'would be effortless for an outsider to deduce."

James looked taken aback at being advised be a stone creature. Lily instantaneously decided she liked the dragon.

After a few moments of thinking, Lily suggested, "Candy Floss?"

"Candy Floss? _What_?" James asked completely flummoxed.

"Good choice, Mademoiselle. Your password will be 'candy floss' as long as you, sir, agree."

Faced with Lily's glare pushing him into acquisition, he complied. "Fine."

And the dragon sidled out of the way to reveal a ramp-like path to a lavish common room decorated in red, yellow, green, blue, and purple, clearly meant to be unbiased towards any house. Two staircases met on a second floor, in which what looked like a bathroom was in between.

"So, how 'bout a game of exploding snap?" James asked.

Lily didn't answer, but instead shot him a glare as she went up the left-most ornate staircase that led up to her room. Upon entering, she reveled in the beauty of the room with the same colors as the common room, a large closet, and a lone shower and toilet.

"Hey! We have a swimming pool!" James shouted from outside her door.

As was her custom, she ignored him.

* * *

"You have to share a bathroom with the pervert?" Mary asked in astonishment at breakfast the next morning.

"Only if I don't want a shower. Which I don't think will happen. I prefer bathing in private, like most people."

"Ah, you're no fun. And it's not as though you can't lock the door," Marlene said.

"And it's not as though Potter won't unlock the door. Pervert," pointed out Mary.

"Hullo, my lovelies," Elwyn said joining them from the Ravenclaw table. She always did when she could. "So, last night. It sounded as though Potter reneged on your vows."

"Eugh. Don't - don't say it like that. It's creepy. Sounds like matrimony."

"I don't find marriage to James in anyway creepy."

"Isn't he a distant cousin of yours?" Lily asked with a wrinkled nose.

"Only by marriage," Marlene said dreamily.

As Elwyn pretended to gag, they were joined by the Marauders. Lily stared at them menacingly, while Marlene flirtatiously waved hello. Elwyn mocked her by batting her eyelashes as them and rolling her eyes. Mary just ignored them, hunched over her food.

"How're you doing today, ladies?" Sirius asked cheerfully.

"Peachy, Sirius," Marlene declared.

"Alright, Lily?" James asked.

"Sod off and die, Potter," Lily grumbled.

"What was that, Lily darling?" Elwyn asked in playful innocence.

"Absolutely nothing, Winnie, dear." Lily said in the same manner. Elwyn grimaced at the nickname.

"Have you seen Sniv -" Sirius started, but broke off as James shook his head, "- Sni - _Snidgets_! Have you ever seen a snidget?"

"No, Sirius. I've never seen a snidget," James said morosely, his face in his hands from a pathetic medley hopelessness and vexation.

At that moment, Connor O'Neill, a seventh year Hufflepuff that had been partnered with Lily in Arithmancy, approached Lily. Between the gaps of his fingers, James eyed him suspiciously.

"Er…Lily? A word?"

Lily looked at him in polite surprise. "Sure, Connor."

"Huh, first-name terms," Sirius observed as Lily stood following Connor to a more private alcove of the Great Hall, but with the wave of a James' wand, became audible.

Lily looked up at Connor expectantly.

"I know it's a bit early and all, but - would you go to the first Hogsmeade with me?"

"Not a very good chat-up line," James whispered, actually feeling sorry for Connor, whom he was sure would be turned down. He waited for Lily to start with a "Look, Connor…" or "That's really sweet of you, but…"

"Yeah," Remus said, "because all of your chat-up lines have always worked."

James shushed him turning his attention back to Lily who was simultaneously grinning and blushing ominously. His gut wrenched in envy, urging him to go dump a nearby dish on O'Neill's head. Then, Lily nodded and said, "Of course."

The Marauders all groaned. James looked on with shock. How could Lily agree to _him_? James barely knew him. O'Neill wasn't on the Quidditch team, he kept silent in classes, and he was what James might call a loner.

"What - why - Did she say '_yes_'? I don't understand -"

Sirius looked at him in disgust. "Does she actually have you in a tizzy?"

"Most unfortunately, it appears she does. James, nothing rash -" Remus warned, but James was already walking away.

"That is a sad man," Sirius observed.

* * *

"Connor! What - How - Who?"

"Ah, Lily," Connor said dizzily from the floor of a broom closet. "Don' believe I've ever seen you this un - im - disarticulate!"

"Are you drunk or something?" Lily asked suspiciously, eyeing his strange sparkly, disco-like attire.

Connor laughed, teetering as he attempted to stand. "No, I don' think -" he paused to stare at the floor in consternation "- surely I would've had much more fun -sure as hell wouldn't have dreamed of Potter -" he mumbled.

Lily's suspicion peaked. "You had a dream about Potter?"

Connor looked deeply embarrassed even in his bemusement. "I might've - Could you -" he leaned forward and whispered in a clumsy and conspiratorial manner, "Could you not tell anyone?"

Lily started to walk away, but stopped. "Will you be okay? There's something I have to do."

"O' course. I'll be fine. I'm a man. A strong man. With glittery trousers." He commented, a confused line appearing on his forehead at his shiny-clad legs.

Lily marched off to the Gryffindor Common Room. _Another one down_, she thought.

"Potter!" came a scream from the portrait hole.

Most of the bystanders in the common room barely glanced up. Evans-Potter quarrels were an almost daily occurrence.

James Potter, who had momentarily been playing exploding snap, dived noisily under the table.

"Ah, a true Gryffindor. Never hides in the face of confrontation." remarked Remus from above.

"We may actually have to disown him. Yellow-bellied coward." Sirius said in playful disgust.

"Bit redundant, aren't you?" Remus put forth, before an angry, auburn-haired, green-eyed harpy sent their table, cards, and money flying. The table knocked James in the head.

"Yes!" Peter exclaimed gleefully. "Now we'll have to start over. Maybe then I'll win!"

"Hello, my lovely Evans," James said in his usual arrogant air.

"Well, I suppose it's less embarrassing because he's a good actor."

"Would you like to explain to me, Potter," Lily demanded eyes narrowed, her voice both threatening and accusing, "why Connor O'Neill was imprisoned in a closet, wearing some pretty _flamboyant_ garb, and showing symptoms of an alcoholic?"

James bit his lip wondering if he should play innocent or admit to his deed in such a passion that Lily Evans melted into a puddle at his feet. In the end he chose to do neither. "No, I wouldn't care to tell you why he was in such a state."

Sirius piped up. "Well, you see, Evans, when a witch and wizard love each other very much -"

As this statement from Sirius' mouth never boded well, Remus silenced him with a wave of his wand. As everyone turned back to James for his response, Sirius reversed the spell and continued to relate his wisdom to a female ignorant in the ways of the male psyche.

" - the said wizard will attempt to eliminate all competition, jealous you see -"

Once again, Sirius found himself silenced. Which was just as well for Lily could no longer contain her infamous temper.

"Every single time I have a Hogsmeade trip with any male, even if it's completely platonic, you prevent it! All of the male population is intimidated by you, especially if they've encountered your demeaning pranks on my behalf! Hell, I don't even really have any male friends besides Remus, much less -"

"What about Snape?" James asked before he could stop himself. He had always been curious as to the sudden rift in their friendship, as well as relieved.

Lily's eyes grew suspiciously bright, making them even more overwhelming to stare into. She felt a sharp jab of pain at the mention of her former friend. But she managed to convert this into more wood to stoke the fire of fury building inside her.

"I - I don't know how to deal with it anymore!" Lily practically screeching as her frustration mounting so rapidly it was having an effect on her speaking. Hands shaking and lips trembling in anger, she for once in her life just walked away.

James was left dumbstruck, an odd feeling in his gut. He wasn't sure if he felt triumphant, guilty, or both. As he became aware of what was happening around him, he saw the faces of some very annoyed people looking back at him, namely the girls, but also some of Lily's past possible dates that chanced to be in the room. As he had always been very popular with everyone, Slytherins and Lily excluded, this was a new sensation for him.

"I think," Remus said, "that that might be a very good reason to cease terrorizing Lily's Hogsmeade dates. I don't mean to say I told you so, but I've told you many times -"

"Moony, I think he gets it."

"Right."

* * *

"I can't believe that he saw me teary-eyed. I must've looked pathetic."

"Lily, it almost sounds like you like him," Marlene McKinnon said.

Three pairs of eyed swiveled to glare at her in shock, anger and interest. Marlene, who had been filing her nails finally noticed that the conversation had halted and she might have said something wrong. "What?"

"I most definitely don't fancy Potter," Lily stated in a hard voice, almost gagging on the words.

"I'm sure she doesn't," Elwyn Smith said. "One usually makes an effort to refrain from displaying weaknesses to one's enemies."

"I don't believe in that rubbish," Marlene said returning to her fingernails.

"You don't believe that human nature pertains to humans?" Elwyn asked dubiously.

"I don't believe that is human nature, Winnie."

Elwyn twitched at the nickname. "_Marlene_…" she reprimanded.

"Have you ever considered that this isn't the time to analyze human nature?" Lily asked. "Can't you just bash Potter with me?"

"I don't think that is the thing to do," Mary MacDonald supplied in her usual quiet manner.

"It's probably not," Lily said, sighing. After a pause, she said, "Could we do it anyway?"

* * *

Lily made her way back to the Head's Dormitory at the last possible moment before curfew, grumbling to herself along the way.

"Candy floss," Lily said to the dragon, looking a murderess in the making.

Lily stomped into the dormitory to find James on the couch. Peacefully asleep. Not a care to line his smooth brow, his breath softly escaping his parted lips, his chest rising and falling in time…And Lily found herself back in a rage.

Getting out her wand, she conjured a harsh spurt of water to wake up the idiot. "You idiot! As if I needed another excuse to despise you!"

James jerked awake, sputtering, glasses dripping and completely askew. "Wha- Li - Evans - _Lily_?"

"Don't call me that! Don't call me anything! Don't ever talk to me again!"

"What? You woke me up!"

"Because you were annoying me!"

"I was sleeping!"

"Yeah! A peaceful, guiltless sleep with bunny-rabbits and sheep and pandas!"

"Guiltless? Pandas? Oh, right. O'Neill."

Lily stared at him, agape with so many negative emotions she thought she would burst.

James caught sight of her. "Oh."

"You forgot?!?" she asked dangerously.

James had the intelligence to say, "No, no. Of course not. Felt so remorseful and depressed, I fell asleep on the couch to escape the painful gnawing of my scolding conscience."

Unfortunately, he lacked the histrionics.

After a disbelieving "tuh," Lily retreated up the stairs to her room. James complimented himself on a job well done. Not.


End file.
